One More Perspective

There are as many realities as the number of people involved. – Hubay Vica

//

I am glad you are here. If this is the first time you are visiting this site, the following is a quick orientation. To read a single-perspective account of a Family’s complicated history from old Hungary to the highly-nuanced United States, please look for chapter numbering (zero to nine); the chapters build on one-another in numerical order. No chapter is meant to be a standalone one. There are also titles without a chapter designation; those are short writings about a broad range of seemingly random topics. Thank You for arriving with lovingkindness.

//

Love Always

  • Octopus and Turtle Children

    In 2004, my Divorce Attorney gave me the name of a Therapist with whom she and her (by then former) Husband had done couples’ therapy.  Despite their marriage ending, my Attorney believed this Therapist was invaluable in her own journey.  I didn’t actually want a divorce, not any of them, I just didn’t know what… Continue reading

    , , ,

  • Life after Life

    What is the definition of end of life?  Last breath?  Last heartbeat?  Sure, between medical science and legal frameworks there is a perfectly repeatable approach to determining one’s death.  What if your heart and lungs and those other vital organs are autonomically doing their thing but your spiritual heart and soul are not interested in… Continue reading

  • You are Correct

    I am writing this because I have finally reached a point where I no longer want to outrun the truth of my own patterns. For the better part of five decades, I lived under the impression that if I was competent enough and worked harder than everyone else, I could compensate for the fractures in… Continue reading

  • The Childhood Programming

    It’s taken 50 some years, four expired marriages and three wonderful Children who are now healthy enough to leave me behind, for me to figure out what’s been happening within my core.  It recalibrates everything I’ve ever known and professed.  I am recording it here because I don’t ever want to forget this. The Source… Continue reading

  • Last Cleaning

    Thirteen years ago I moved into this house with so much love, hope, overwhelm, relief and pride.  In 2012 we had moved from Oklahoma to Washington DC Metro, and I felt like I was released from purgatory.  I breathed differently, I moved about differently.  I had left the incessant “You’re not from around here, are… Continue reading

  • Private School vs College Savings

    Despite overhearing my Mother in 2022 tell her Friends I made $500K per year, I have actually never said nor made anything close to that.  It happened at my Mother’s 70th Birthday Party weekend my Wife and I threw for my Mother and her Friends at a Ritz-Carlton hotel, for which we paid entirely with… Continue reading

    ,

  • “I’d rather you were dead than a faggot!”

    The title is a quote from the classic movie American Beauty.  “I’d rather you were dead than a faggot!” are the gutting words retired Marine Corps Colonel Frank Fitts said to his own Son out of suspicion the teen may be gay.  The plot twist?  By the end of the movie we learn deeply homophobic… Continue reading

    , , ,

  • Chasm

    “You’re in my house!” was the first sentence to come out of my Daughter’s mouth when, upon parking and exiting her car, she spotted me in the parking lot of her apartment complex.  I was standing a couple of cars away, having just paused my vehicle, still in the lane.  I was careful to be several… Continue reading

    ,

  • Attachment Theory with the Help of Gemini 2.5 Pro

    I have been desperate to understand why, despite my number one life goal to have a healthy, secure Family of my own, my unwavering dedication to my Children’s development and wellbeing, and my deepest love for them, twenty years later I managed to arrive at the opposite.  It was critical for me to disect this… Continue reading

    , , ,

  • Psychological Protection

    This week someone, listening to me describe a past situation, mentioned “it sounds like you didn’t have any protection.”  It was one of those moments where my brain came to a screeching halt, but my gut said I needed to pursue.  I spent a few moments unresponsive.  Seeing my stunned expression, the person said a… Continue reading