One More Perspective

We have an older friend who is slipping into dementia.  We visited her recently and she was keenly struggling with her short-term memory, but was sharp as a tack regarding many other things.  She mentioned she talks to her Daughter every day (which we knew was not likely because of other circumstances), but she went on to emphasize she talks to her Daughter, as in, it’s not a two-way conversation.  That made all the sense in the world to me.  I do the same thing.  I talk to you about all kinds of things, and they really fall into two categories:  1) I wish you well in your current life and 2) I acknowledge to you all the ways I wish the childhood I had provided for you had been different. 

I dream about you a lot; that also helps me to spend time with you.  I dreamt about you last night.  It was lovely to just be with you, watch you be excited about things I know nothing of, and to cheer you on with the freedom of knowing, as an adult, you are now in charge.  It’s wonderful to imagine you unfolding your life as per your design.  I still get to be in your corner through the grace of the larger universe.  I will always be in your corner, wishing for the best for you, wishing for exactly what you want for you.  Our wise friend so beautifully helped me verbalize what I had not…despite my failures as your Mother, I have a lot of love flowing from me to you.  Rather than it getting stuck and distorted, I can still continually turn it over to the universe supporting you, and trust that my love for you joins yours and others’, rooting for you, nurturing you.  I can visualize you thriving, and making your way, surrounded by love and support, and perpetually overcoming the inevitable, recurring messiness of life.