One More Perspective

It’s a rainy Wednesday morning reminding us it is September.  Though it would be easier to stay at home on a rainy day, I had mentally and logistically prepared to go into the office.  Having bought excellent rain gear for a March trip to London, the rain was not a good enough excuse to do today what I have done for the better part of the last four years:  work from home.  I feel the pull of the whole of the office experience, commute included, even if I’m still going to be in virtual meetings much of the day.  The MetroBus, the Metro, the walk downtown between elegant-old and frigid-modern buildings make for a familiar and energizing morning for me; in fact, despite the rain, I am planning to get off the Metro two stops early and walk the rest of the way.  As I briefly sat on the bus that connects my house to the closest Metro Station, I respectfully glanced at the rest of the commuters.  It occurred to me many of them are moving about their lives with fewer choices than I do.  In that moment, I realized:  I’m seriously having a pity party in my head instead of seeing the very many, the overwhelmingly many things going well in my life.  My sadness, stemming most compellingly from the last four years, has been omnipresent in my days.  “How’s that working out for you?” replayed the 90s TV Show Psychologist in my head.  It became clear to me then and there, as Eckhart Tolle’s writings point out, my brain was not only favoring focusing on the things not going well, but my entire disposition was unhelpful.  After all, let me review what I just wrote. 

• My three, now adult Children are thriving, each in their own beautiful way
• I’m employed.  So well, in fact, that most days I get to decide whether to go into the office
• I am mobile in every sense of the word…my body, my city; amazing! 
• I get to travel, and I have ample clothing, food and shelter
• I get to contribute to others’ professional and personal development and sense of well-being
• I get to…, I get to…, I get to…

The get-tos far outnumber the have-tos and the cannots.  “That’s remarkable!” I note with a deep gratitude.  I also acknowledge I allow “what’s going well” to get shrouded by “I wish” all too easily.  I am letting myself sit with that.  Yes, I wish some things were different, and I honor those feelings, but those feelings don’t deserve more attention than my sheer amazement at the fact that now having exited the Metro, I get to enjoy a leisurely stroll.  It’s leisurely because my rolling briefcase slows me down, and because I’m still babying my left ankle I twisted severely on these same streets last Thursday….but most importantly, because there are no urgent demand signals on me right now.  A few years ago, there would be no time for a leisurely morning walk; not even a leisurely mindset.  Between getting kids off to school and racing to work, there would be no time for how I am arriving at my office today:  in my own time.  As I walk past The White House, I think of my faraway birthplace in Hungary; back then, under Communist rule.  A street musician snaps me out of reminiscing when my brain recognizes the precocious tune:  “Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!”